After that surprise event with Lisa in the storage room, I decided to just not to hide again. I guess Tanya could just be annoying the more I avoided her and maybe I just also have to face Krizzia and not run away from her. I enjoyed those surprised encounter with Lisa. She's a tough girl and it would be cool to be her friend. But sometimes I just can't get through her. Or just I need to reach out more in a perfect timing.
******************************************************************
My newly found friends in the swim team are enjoying the pool in our condo. I brought them over after class today.
"Imagin mo pare Leo, katropa na natin si Brandon?"
"Ngayon lang ako nakapasok sa mga katulad nito." , Don said.
"Hey guys, we did a great job today. Remember, it's all about stamina in the water. The more we stay longer under water, the more it will help us. For the meantime, this week, we will work on that then next week, we will try our country clubs lap pool."
Then there were cheers from the group.
"Brandon, can we hang out for a while?"
"Sure, Jeff. Feel at home."
WE were all jumping, diving and swimming ---enjoying ourselves in the pool when...
"What's the meaning of this? And who the hell are you to invade our condo!!!! Out! Out! Out!!!!"
My evil witch step mom.
"Elizabeth, you don't have to shout at them. They are in my swim team."
"Oh and it's you who are making decision in this household now."
"I told dad about this and said it was okay. "
"Well, I am not gonna approve!"
"And why would you have to approve everything? I can bring anybody I want in here just like I always did."
My friends just pick their stuff and bade goodbye to me. I was so upset to talk to them that I just wave my hand to them.
"Wait guys...I will go with you for a while."
Elizabeth was so furious and if it's not for my sibling inside her womb, I don't care blowing it off to her the whole night. I don't care what my dad thinks either.
"And where do you think you're going, Brandon?"
"I will go wherever I want to go just to leave this crap.!!!"
"Brandon, you will not go......come back in here right now!!!"
I slammed the door behind my back.
*****************************************************************
"Ala e Jepperson, mayaman yata yang skolmet nyo. Nakakahiya naman tong bahay natin", Jeff's mom was talking to her son quite doubting about keeping me for a night in their home.
"Ma, nakakaawa naman po siya. Yung madrasta niya, parang gusto naming ilagay sa zoo...parang tigre kasi."
"I will be fine, Mrs. Delgado. THank you very much for accommodating me."
"Our ples is so smol."
"It doesn't matter how small, as long as you have a big heart."
"Tenk u, tenk u..for the complimentary message."
"Nay, okay na po kami." Jeff assured her.
"So u are half-half....?"
"Yes I am half-filipino, half-american."
"O that's why you have that pogi fez. You no ip jepperson's pader did not make me buntis...a este preggy..you no...one cold night...ay naku, censored na yata to...u know..i no u no...dat ting..mmm...man en woman unayt then dey will hab a bebe. Yun, i hab mered a britis. He is hansam like u mebe."
Jeff's mom is hilarious.
"Ma, ano ba yan? Matagal yata na usapan yan at kinakalkal mo pa ang kasaysayan ng ating pamilya. Matulog na po kayo. Ako na ang bahala kay Brandon."
"Ok, Brendon..ay will go to sleep na to da oder room ....a este wala pala kaming room. Dyan o..ober der..in the korner wid my oder kids. Good night."
"Good night, Mrs. Delgado."
The Delgados live in a single room house where everything is there----living room, kitchen, dining room and bedroom. The only room that is separated from the house is the bathroom. They are a happy family. I heard the father works overnight in the fishing port and comes home only every weekend.
They let me use their one and only bed in the house which I refused a moment ago when I saw Jeff's younger brother and sister. But then, they insisted and even gave me all of their pillows and an old blanket.
I was awake half of the time the rest of the night. I just can't take Elizabeth anymore and maybe getting away from them for a while will help.
Now, my life is just so complicated.
Pagkauwi ko ng bahay ng Lunes ng gabi, nakita ko ang nanay sa labas na wari may malalim na iniisip. Alam ko na tulog na ang mga kapatid ko dahil pasado alas nuebe na. Gabi na rin natapos ang praktis namin sa dance competition para sa Division Meet.
"Ang drama natin yata ngayon a. Para kang nasa teleserye at sinasaliwan ng malungkot na musika." Sabay halik ako sa noo at umupo sa tabi ni Inay.
"May pagbabago lang kasing nangyari ngayong araw na to."
"Talaga? Sana magandang pagbabago."
"Alam kong ikakatuwa mo..."
"Okay...? Pasiyahin mo ako."
"Pumunta kanina si Atty. Elizalde sa tindahan at muli niya daw bubuksan ang kaso ng Tatay mo."
"Talaga? Bakit? Ano ang tumulak sa kanila na buksan ang kaso?"
"Kasi nakakita sila ng koneksyon sa mga gun and drug trafficking hindi lang dito sa Luzon kung di sa Mindanao din. Tapos, nakita nila mahigit na isang taon na may ganyang aksyon na nangyayari at ang tatay mo, matagal na taxi driver pero wala pa siyang isang taon sa Two Brothers taxi company. At isa pa, pagkatapos na pagkatapos ng kaso ay pumunta ng America at 2 magkakapatid na may-ari."
"Baka nga may kinalaman ang 2 magkakapatid."
"Wala silang sinasabi pero kailangan din nila imbestigahan ang kapatid na babae ng 2. Pero sana naman mapawalang sala ang tatay mo dahil alam naman natin na wala talaga syang kasalanan. Ipagdadasal natin yun."
************************************ "Maaga pa yatang HB itong si Miss Tan," bulong ni Iris sa akin habang nakaupo kami sa bleacher habang nagbi-break sa dance rehearsal.
"Kabuwanan yata", dagdag ni Alex. Dance instructor namin si Miss Tan. Palagi siyang masayahin at kwela kaya pag wala sya sa modo, alam na alam mo talagang may isyu siya sa buhay.
"We need to dry the floor for the next routine. Somebody get the mop or any rag from the storage room. We will start in 10 minutes."
Tumayo ako at..."Ako na, Miss Tan."
"THank you, Lisa." Sa hallway kung saan yung storage room, parini't parito si Tanya.
"A Lisa...mm..have you seen Brandon? I've been looking for him e. He's nowhere to be found.
"
Anak ng tinapa, ginawa na naman akong Lost and Found.
"Tanya, alam mo naman siguro kung saan ka pupunta kung may nawawala , di ba?"
"Pero tao yung nawawala, Lisa..di bagay."
"Alam ko. Mahirap kasi hanapin ang nagtatago sa yo."
"Si Brandon? from me? Bakit???"
"Di ko alam. Sige ha..."
Pinagmamasdan ko syang nagdadabog pabalik ng DRamatics classroom nila.
Pumasok ako ng storage pero madilim. Nalimutan kong lagyan ng harang yung pintuan kaya di ko nakita tuloy ang switch. Kinapa ko sa kaliwang banda ng dingding at nahanap ko pero nawalan ako ng balanse at muntik na akong nadapa pero dumapo ako sa isang tao. Napayakap ako sa kanya at ganon din siya sa akin. Para bagang nawalan ako ng ulirat ng ilang segundo dahil feeling ko ang sarap na lang yumakap pero bigla akong pumiglas.
"Teka..sino..?" Kinapa ko uli ang switch at .."BRandon?" ANong ginagawa mo dito?"
"I...I am sorry. It was all accident."
"At gusto mo pa akong chansingan ha."
"It's not what you think, Lisa. I was running away from Tanya."
"Malaki siguro ang mga kasalanan mo sa mga babaeng yan kaya you are running away from them."
"I don't know...I honestly don't know."
"Alam ko na..." Hinawakan ko yung mukha niya sa may panga nya at biglang tinuro ang mukha niya.
"Ito o..ito...itong mukhang yan...yan ang dahilan", saka ko binitawan.
"MY face?"
"OO, the problem is your face."
"I didn't know that."
"Weeee...kunwari pa ito na di aamin na.."
"..that what?" Seryoso yata ang mokong na to na di alam na may itsura sya.
Bigla lang akong natigilan...."may itsura ka..that you have a face."
Sa unang pagkakataon nakita ko siyang ngumiti.
"Everyone has a face including me and I don't find anything special about it. But I do find some faces so angelic."Nilagay nya yung daliri sa chin ko, " ...specifically and specially yours."
"Hoy, wag mo akong utuin. Paalis na nga at hinihintay na ako sa klase", dinampot ko yung mop.
"Lumabas ka na dito at pinapawisan ka na dito."
Hmmm Lisa, ba't ka flattered sa sinabi nya? Matagal ko namang alam na maganda talaga ako a. Wala nga lang nakakahalata.
"Hello Brandon!!! How was your weekend?"
Oh no, not again. Tanya blurted out across the hallway. Then everyone looks my way. I need my invisibility cloak please. I smiled back dryly at her. I am just contemplating for an intervention right now.
"BRandon?" Coach Geganto called. I immediately turned his way.
"Coach , good morning."
"YOu seemed to be in a good mood today."
"I just want to thank you for saving me."
"Saving from what?"
"No..never mind."
"Can I have a bit of your time? Let's get into my office."
You just didn't know how much you save me, Coach Geganto. Tanya such a sweet girl but I don't want that kind of attention everytime she's around. She is so loud.
"I heard that you are in the swimming team in your former school. The reason we don't have a swimming team here is that we lack facilities like a lap pool at saka students here came from poor families, so the best access they have for swimming are the beaches and rivers."
"I understand, sir."
"WE focused more on popular team sports and some individual events that require less funding. Pero I know na isa kang asset...if you don't me talking in tagalog."
"I sure can understand some tagalog Sir. That's fine. "
"It is our goal here to really hone in everyone to the best of their skills and I want to ask you if you have somewhere to practice if we do participate in the swimming competition in the coming Division Meet."
"WE have a lap pool in the country club and I also swim in one of our condo in a midrise in Alabang. In fact, we don't have a lap pool in Blue Ridge--- most of the guys in our swimming team are individually trained but if the competition is close, we basically go to a lap pool available around town with our coach. Of course the school finance the rent."
"WEll, ang mangyayari, Brandon is that you will be your own team. I read your record that you're best in individual medley, so we could put you in that. My wife is also a swimmer when she was in her high school, she could be helping you. Kasi meron na akong soccer pero I will stand as your coach but she will be there to assist you."
"I suggest also Sir that maybe we could recruit 5 more if you want to. I will be the one taking care of the practice if that's okay."
"THat is so great, Brandon! Yes, we will post it and maybe send out permission slips to parents. How's that?"
"Let's do it, Sir."
"THank you, Brandon. I appreciate your help." So this is a responsibility on my back but I am on it. Never did I feel so excited. So at the end of the day, I have 6 students in front of me----6 guys in my team.
" My name is Henry...."
"Ako naman si Greg"......
."Tomas".......
."Leo"......"Jefferson"...and
....."Don".
"GReat!!!WElcome to the swimming team!!!!!"
Good luck to us, I said to myself.
Sabado --kakabukas ko lang ng Internet Cafe. As usual, nagtext si Janet na mali-late siya ng 10 minutes. Traffic daw. Buti na lang, late palagi si Bossing pag Sabado. Ang masaklap nito ay kailangan kong ihanda ang lahat ng sangkap ng shakes sa counter at magkayod ng isang container ng shaved ice. Di naman ako si Wonder Woman na kakayanin ang lahat at saka may customer na sa mga computers. Pero ang alam ko ay madali lang yan pag may music at sabayan ng indak.
Pina-andar ko ang music at para bang nasa music video daw ako na nagsasayaw habang tinatapos ang mga dapat kong gawin. Pinaandar ko ang lahat na computer, inaayos ang mga upuan, nag-shave ng ice, hinanda ang mga sahog para sa shakes at sandwiches. Voila---natapos kong lahat.
Paglingon ko sa may pintuan, nakita ko ang mestisong hilaw na nasa labas pala at papasok. Gusto kong mag-disappear nang sandali at parang gusto kong murain si Janet dahil late siya. Bakit ba? Lisa, kumalma ka. Lalaki lang yan. Wala akong baong maraming english ngayon. Puede ba maging bola at magroll sa ilalim ng counter? Anyway, sige, ako yata si Lisa---may matapang na apog.
Teka, ba't sya ngumingiti? Baliw yata to.
"Hi there. I always caught you dancing. You really love to dance."
"Oh yeah, and I always see you ....see you stalking."
Umiling siya.
"I am not stalking you. I bet next time I see you, you will still be dancing."
"Ay lab..ay lab to dance."
"I see that."
"Why you here? You want to use internet?"
"Oh no, I have my laptop but I like your shakes here. Can I have a large size choco mint shake?"
"21 pesos...."
"Okay."
Ayan ginagawan ko siya ng order nya pero ito pala ang feeling ng pinapanood ng lalaking to. E bakit naman kasi wala pang ibang customer para may iba pang tao dito.
Bigla na lang pumasok si Janet.
"LIsa, hay naku sorry ha. Traffic kasi. Ako na dito dito sa cash register" Lumingon at nakita si Brandon. "Uy, you're back here."
Nagtaka ako sa "you're back" ni Janet. Nakapunta na dito si mestisong hilaw?
"I like your shakes here."
"Oh good. So you met Lisa...?"
"Mmm..yes and met her in school,too."
"Talaga? Aba Lisa, di mo sinasabi sa akin na kaklase mo pala si Mr. Badge saver."
"Ha?", sabay lagay ng straw sa shake at binigay kay Brandon.
Inabot niya ang bayad kay Janet.
"Siya yung nakapulot ng badge mo at binalik dito. Di ka naman pala nagpasalamat."
"Ha a e...salamat...a e thank you."
"No problem. That's why you are so familiar."
Bigla na lang nag-text alert yung cellphone niya at binasa ang message. Tumingin sya sa labas at bigla na lang na-alarma.
"Hey, can I hide somewhere? I need to get away from someone."
"Doon sa storage room. Pasenya ha, mainit don."
"I don't care." Sabay pasok sa storage room.
Pumasok bigla ang ....sa aking ala-ala ito yung babae na kausap niya noong gabi.
"Have you seen a cute guy na pumasok dito? Mestiso, dark hair, kissable lips.....boyfriend ko?"
"Hindi po ito Lost and Found store...Internet Cafe po ito. Baka don sa kabila sa may Pet store.", bigla ko na lang siya sinagot.
"I'm not looking for my lost pet. I'm looking for my lost boyfriend."
Patagong tumatawa si Janet kaya siniko ko siya.
"I swear that car is his."
"Sure pa kayo, Miss? Wala pa kaming customer dito. Masarap ang shakes dito." bungad ni Janet.
"I'm sorry, I don't eat in an unknown place---yung sa tabi-tabi lang. O sige, if he gets lost in here, tel him Krizzia was here looking for him."
"Kanino namin sasabihin? Sa boss namin o sa pulis?"
"Arrggg!! Diyan na nga kayo...unbelievable!!!!" At saka siya umalis.
Lumabas si Brandon nang wala na si Krizzia.
"THanks guys, I owe it to you."
"O ayan, I already paid you by hiding you. Wala na akong utang. No debt anymore because of the badge."
"Ha? seriously, thank you."
"Talaga? Seryoso?, tanong ni Janet,"bakit mo...ah e why are you hiding from your girlfriend?"
"Correction, ex-girlfriend.
"Baka buntis", bigla lang akong sumibat,"I mean ..maybe she's preggy."
"Whoa!!No....", bigla tumaas ang boses nya, "if she is, it's not mine."
"Naku, joke lang!!!"
"GUess I better get going. Thanks for the great service and the help."
"Sure..." sabay ngiti ni Janet.
Siniko ako ni Janet, "You're welcome."
"Come back again! ", pahabol ni Janet.
Kinurut lang akong bigla ni Janet. "Hoy bruhilda, ang mean mo sa babaeng sosyalerang yun. Haha....lumalabas ang pagka-Gabriela Silang mo."
"Hay naku, kung may hahanapin siya, ba't dito sya naghahanap."
"Hay naku pero pag andito si bossing, pagagalitan ka non."
"Alam ko kaya sinamantala ko. At isa pa di naman siya kawalan dahil di naman siya bibili at ayaw niya ng shakes natin dito."
"OO nga, sister....she missed everything pag hindi niya natikman ang shakes natin.
When I got home that day, my dad has just finished talking to a client on the phone. He seems pleased to see me home earlier than I used to in my old school.
"Brandon, son, well I am glad to see you. Maybe the new school has given you a new, fresh and positive breath of air. How was it?"
"Not so cool but I could get by it. They put me in Dramatics as my Elective and that is the worst high school experience. How could a jock like me act? I need to talk to the P.E. and Sports person of the school."
"That's your choice, Brandon. Told you that you were in a good position in Blue Ridge."
"I know right but I need some adventure and I want surprises everyday."
"Okay, son. But hey, Krizzia called 3 times. What happened to you guys?"
"Well, we are only friends right now. There has been a problem and I didn't like what happened. I just called it over for the both of us and who knows."
We were in a good conversation when Elizabeth just came in screaming on her cellphone.
"No!!! Hindi puede yan!!! That can not be. That can not happen. Never!!! The case was close and that's it. We have put the real criminal in jail. Peter will not be happy about this. You need to do everything in your might to stop reopening the case. Dapat nyong pigilan yan!!!", then she put the phone away.
"Elizabeth, that is not healthy for the baby. Just calm down."
"THat is not right!!! One causal group headed by pro-bono lawyers is reopening the case against the trafficking in our taxi business."
"But that was like 5 years ago," my dad said.
"Then Efren is in Chicago and Noel is in San Diego--- they can not go back in here for the reopening of the case."
"Oh well, we can't do anything about it if they wanted to."
"That case has been buried and the real culprit is in jail."
I remembered this case of Elizabeth's brothers. They were running a taxi business before and one of the vehicles were used to smuggle drugs and some illegal firearms. That one vehicle is used by one of their drivers who is in prison now. He was convicted to be in prison for 20 years. They found out that he have not done it once but several times in a year. All that I know that after that happened, her two brothers went to the US as tourists and up to now stay illegally there. That means if they come home, they are already banned to go back to the US.
"Honey, calm down. That is not good for the baby. You should not think about stressful things and cool down. If they are reopening it, so be it. They have already the real criminal in their hands."
Sometimes I always think that there is something fishy about that case. I am only concerned with my baby sibling in her womb. If she's not pregnant, I couldn't care less at all if they opened the case again.
***********************************************************************
When I am alone in my room again, I thought about that dancing girl. There is something about her that I need to know----the sweetness and the toughness of her character when she dances amaze me and intrigue me. But then, behind my mind, I think about what happened to me and Krizzia. WE hit if off so quickly and if there will be a next girl in my life, I will make sure that I will really do it slowly but surely---and maybe I will find a keeper next time.
Hopefully......
Nakakatawa naman ang hilaw na kanong yun pero in fairness, cute siya pero ang alam ko may girlfriend na siya at wala akong laban don. Pero ang alam ko sa pagsasayaw --meron akong ibubuga. Hindi naman na man-hater ako, meron din akong mga crush pero yun nga lang hanggang pangarap lang. Ang tatlong lalaki sa buhay ko ay si Itay at ang dalawa kong kapatid na sina Daniel at Lester. Oo nga pala, bibilangin ko na rin si Rod, ang matiyaga kong "tagahanga" pero matagal ko nang pinagdiinan sa kanya na di kami talo dahil "prends" lang kami. Naks, pang-showbiz epek pa. Pero mabait si Rod at talagang matapat na kaibigan. Sabi ko sa kanya, pag ako ay 30 anyos na at single pa at ganon din siya, sasagutin ko siya.
Pero sa lahat na to, naghahari pa rin ang pangarap ko sa buhay ko at para sa pamilya ko.
"Anak, wag mo namang pagdamutan ang sarili mong magsaya paminsan-minsan. " Paalala ni Inay minsan. "Noong kaedad mo ako, ganito rin kami kahirap pero pumupunta pa rin kami sa sayawan sa kabilang baryo. Minsan, pumupunta kami ng papa mo at barkada namin sa dalampasigan dala-dala ng pagkain at yun, swimming at kasiyahan. Simple lang pero masaya."
"Nay, yan ba yung panahon na nabuntis ka ni Tatay?", tanong ni Lester na nakikinig habang gumagawa ng assignment niya.
Bigla tinakpan ni Nanay ang tenga ni Daniel. "AT sino naman ang nagtsismis sa yo nyan?"
"Sino pa kung di si Lola Choleng. Palagi niya kayong pinagsasabihan ni Tatay noon kapag naghihingi tayo ng tulong sa kanya. " Bigla siyang tumayo at nag-ala Lola Choleng,"Kaya ayan ang kinahinatnan ng di nagtatapos ng pag-aaral at naglalandi-landi, ang mga walang pangarap sa buhay...ayan..wala kayong ginawa kung di ang bumigay sa tukso ng laman. Ayan instant pamile kayo."
Pinigilan siya ni Nanay at patago akong ngumiti sa kapatid ko.
"Ayan, Nay....naisahan kayo ni Lester."
"Oo na. Oo na. Isang pagkakamali namin ng tatay nyo ay tama na. Kailangang matuto kayo sa pagkakamali namin at andito ako para sa inyo. " Bigla na lamang siyang tumigil sa pagsasalita at nalungkot. Alam kong naalala niya naman ang tatay.
"Nay, alam naming walang kasalanan ang tatay at na-frame up lang sya pero ang pangako ko gagawin ko lahat ng makakaya ko na mapawalang sala ang tatay."
"Anak, mayayaman ang nagpakulong sa tatay mo at mahirap silang kalabanin..pero di pa rin tayo titigil sa kakapanalangin para makahanap ng paraan. Kakampi natin ang Diyos."
Sa likod ng pagkamasayahin ng pamilya namin ay ang lungkot na nadarama na wala sa piling namin ang aming ama. Kaya nga maingat kami sa dalawang kong kapatid na wag isipin na pamarisan si Tatay. Pinapaalala namin palagi sa kanila na walang kasalanan ang aming ama.
If there's one thing that I dislike about my new school--it's the fact that everybody sees me. When I am walking down the hallway and when I enter my classroom. It made me feel so alienated. Guys don't talk to me and girls giggle when I look at them. I am not feeling that I am the cutest hunk they have seen, but truly and honestly, it makes me uncomfortable. Everybody is so nice and everyone is offering you even their seats. They need to know that I am also a student like them. Then there's this girl Tanya who is like always, always talk as if she's in a stage play or something. Then, her friends would smile at me and wave. It might sound so nice but I am not used to this attentions. Well, I am not giving up here...maybe it's because this is only Day 1.
Mr. Trillo, our Dramatics teacher welcome me and talked about the forthcoming participation during alumni celebration and the scholarship. I just want an alibi to get out of here for a while so I raised my hand: "I got to use it."
"Do you know where it is, Brandon?"
"I could show you where it is," Tanya volunteered.
"Thank you.I think I know where it is."
Honestly, I don't--- I am not peeing anyway. I just want to get out of that class for 5-10 minutes or more...
I find myself in the auditorium. Nobody was there there and it was so quiet when...plays the intro of Sexy Love by Neyo.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t0S0uwxaD5o
I move towards the right side of the auditorium which is below the bleachers on the right. It is a wide empty space which is like dance studio with lots of mirrors. It is not conspicuous to the other side of the mini-dome but because there was no one else there and the lights are off in the middle aisle, you could hear the music. Somebody is rehearsing. It's not my habit to sneak and peek but something drawn me to the music. But there she was..the dancer. I could not see her face because of the light that reflects from the mirror. Her hair pulled up and tied in an untidy manner, her bangs and some hair flowing down. Her hair was messy in a good way. She was concentrating on the steps and counting to herself. She was just wearing a simple shirt on, shorts, tights and rubber shoes--but she danced with attitude.
Then, she suddenly stopped and turned the music off.
"Rod, ikaw na yan?"
She sensed somebody is watching her and yes, it's me, nobody else. I walked out of the railings that covered the bleachers and showed myself.
Now I see her face---- an angel's face--- simple, no make up on and she's sweating out. I could see that she's also was surprised to see me there, so she ran at the side and took her towel. She wiped off the sweat from her face and smiled at me.
"I am so sorry. I am just looking for the boy's bathroom...you know that little boy's room." Funny but I was gesturing that "pee-ing" movement in front of her.
She just pointed at my back on the right and there it is--- boys' bathroom.
"Thank you so much." Then I ran but this time I am really doing it. I hope I could talk to her again and get her name. When I came out, she was gone.
Nang inabot sa akin ni Janet ang badge ko, ang saya-saya ko. Save na ako sa terror naming boss. Mahirap na mawalan ng trabaho. Para makaipon din naman ako para sa college ko. Kahit sisimulan ko na muna na ako ang magbayad tapos mag-aaral o mag-working student para makatapos.
"Nagpakilala ba sa yo ang nagbigay nito?"
"Hindi pero parang driver yata kasi maganda at mamahaling kotse ang minamaneho at saka parang naka-uniporme. "
"Iniisip ko nga kung saan-saan ako nakapadpad bago nawala to e. Pumasok pa ako nang Biernes at nawala ko ito malamang Nang gabing yon o Sabado."
"Nang pumasok ka ng Sabado wala na yan."
"Di ba siya nagsabi kung saan niya napulot."
"Hindi naman parang nagmamadali nga e."
"O siya sige balik muna ako ng school. "
"Oo nga pala, Lisa puede ka bang mag-substitute mamaya mga 2 oras lang? May meeting kasi ang kapatid ko sa school at di puede ang nanay. Mga 4:30 hanggang 6:30 lang."
"O sige at pag nakauwi ka, pakisabi kay nanay na andito ako ha."
Weird talaga! Di ko naalala kung saan ko talaga nawala ang badge ko.A Tama!!! Noong Biernes nang gabi nang tumambay ako diyan sa may Blue Ridge. Tumakbo ako kaagad palayo sa mama. Malamang siya ang nakakita nito o hindi kaya isa sa mga estudyante pagkatapos ng ball nila. Kungsabagay bakit ko naman talaga iisipin kung sino talaga. Bumalik na sa akin to at yan ang importante.
Pagbalik ko sa school, mag-e-elective na. Dahil mahilig akong sumayaw at kumanta, ay nasa Dance and Music Arts ako. Ka-grupo namin ang Dramatics class pero tuwing may show lang kami nagkasama-sama. Papasok na ako sa auditorium nang ..........
"Miss, miss, I think I am lost...do you know where the Dramatic class is.."
Ito na siguro yung sinasabi ni Tanya na spokening dollars na bagong salta. Natameme ako nang ilang segundo at nang pabukas na yong bibig upang sagutin siya....
"Brandon!!!! Here you are. Dramatics class over here", nasa likod ko pala si Tanya. Kaya ayun disappearing act kaagad ang lalaki. Oh well at least di ako nakapalabas ang konti kong baong ingles. Pero.....wait up! Bakit ang slow motion ngh memory ko? Siya yun! Siya yun! Bigla akong tumakbo papuntang room ng Dramatics class at sumilip. Nagtransfer siya dito sa Blue Ridge? Bakit kaya? Hayyyy!
"Lisa! Anong ginagawa mo dyan, mali-late na tayo sa Elective." Paalaala ni Rod na nasa harapan ng Performing Arts classroom namin.
Aha-hay, alis muna ako Joshua Jackson! Bakit andito siya sa Roxas High School? Ha-hay ang dami kong tanong.
Nawala na lang ang kakaisip ko nang tinawag ako ni Ms. Gaitan at ang lahat ay nakatingin sa akin.
"Lisa, are you with us?"
Yayks! Naging sentro ako ng atraksyon ---sanay naman ako pero hindi dahil parang malalim ang iniisip ko at parang nasa ibang mundo ako.
"I just called your name, because I have 3 spots for full scholarship in Performing Arts sa UP. I may turn in your name as one of the probables dahil you are also academically capable and commendable.", sa pagkakataon na ito ay narinig ko na si Ms. Gaitan.
"Scholarship po? sige po..", nawala sa isip ko ang lalaking nakasalubong ko kanina at bumalik ako sa realidad.
"Good. I will open this also sa Dramatics class because we belong to the Performing Arts umbrella kaya lang, sila boring, tayo exciting!!!"
Hindi naman na kinakampanya ni Ms. Gaitan ang di pagkaunawaan sa gitna ng klase namin at ng Dramatics...I think may personal na rason siya sa konting rivalry sa gitna nila ni Mr. Trillo. Balita ko dati silang magka-on..as in BF-GF noong college. (Chismis mode on!) Tapos para yatang may 3rd party at nagbreak up pero sa dinig ko di daw babae ang dahilan kung hindi lalaki. Yes---tama ang iniisip niyo--- baklush ang teacher ng Dramatics club.
"Lisa at Melody, you prepare 3 performing piece and according to the guidelines that they sent us---it's lyrical dance, ballroom and contemporary sa yo Lisa. Sa yo Melody, you need to sing a classical Filipino composition, one foreign and one pop. I am not sure what are the requirements doon sa kabilang classroom. Who cares."
Nagtawanan sa loob ng classroom.
"And Lisa, by tomorrow kailangan tapos na yong choreography ng lyrical hip-hop nyo for the coming alumni presentation. So that maituro mo na sa grupo--likewise Rod ang ballroom and Melody yong mga kakantahin ng minstrels."
"Yes, Ma'am", sabay kaming tatlo.
"Lisa, you are now excused and you can use the right side of the auditorium to create choreography. While the others, we need to brainstorm for the concept and everything."
Scholarship? Thank you, Lord. Ito na yong pinapangarap ko.
"What made you transfer to our school, Brandon? Blue Ridge High is such a high-end private school", Mr. Rodriguez scanned through my documents. "And you're not a failing student...your grades are average and some above average. With the look of it, you could have done it better without your athletic activities. We have taken in students from Blue Ridge but they are the expelled ones and could hardly pass."
"It's my first school here in the Philippines and it is extremely as much as I have expected so much compared to Hasting High in Houston. I would like to know about my filipino roots just how my late real mom told me about-- not on the account of how my screaming and nagging pregnant stepmom showed me."
"Hmmm...interesting. Sarcasm is your forte."
"I'm just honest and truthful in most of my opinions."
"OKay, Brandon..in as much that this is a public school at halu-halo dito ang mga studyante...students here came from all walks fo life. Mga mayayaman din at middle class who still believe that public school could offer such quality education. There are some poor students who really work so hard because they believe that they will a have a better future and alleviate poverty. Meron then namang, don't care at all students."
Mr. Rodriguez stood up and opened the wide window overlooking the whole campus.
"WElcome to Manuel Roxas High School!"....he stopped to call for his secretary. "Ms. Caridad, can you call any student officer?"
"Right away, sir. Nasa elective classes po ang mga Seniors. You want me to get Mr. Domingo instead?"
"THat would be awesome!" then he turned to me. "Mr. Domingo by the way is the Senior class adviser. He will help you in all your needs..well, that excludes finances. Then, because you came in the middle of the year, you cannot choose your elective. We will look for an elective class na may bakante. And that is...." he was flipping through his files. Oh I wish it's more on technology or mechanical...."we have an open spot in Dramatics! Ms. Solis would be delighted to have you around."
I screamed to myself, "WHAT!!!!!!! Dramatics! My life has full of drama and school should not add more to it. Damn!!!!!"
"Good luck, Brandon and enjoy your stay in Manuel Roxas."
Seriously--- I know I could get away from this. My need to get away from Blue Ridge is way serious than staying here and do some drama. Good luck to myself,too!
Vacant time---masaya! Chika-chika-- wala na yatang hihigit pa sa kakadaldalera ni Tanya. Madaldal din ako pero ibang klase siya. Parang manok na naghahanap ng kanyang mga inakay. Mula noong First Year pa naman, di na kami magkatugma sa lahat ng bagay. Pero di ko siya kaaway, di ko lang siya feel. Si Kristin naman ay dakilang "julalay" niya. Kulang na lang yata magtayo ng beauty parlor sa mga shed pag vacant period namin. Kung hindi liha sa kuko ang dala, malamang may tweezer, at buong manicure set ang dala. At kasama pa nila ang mga dakilang chihuahuas na sina Mildred at Becky.
"Hay alam nyo ba may bago daw tayong classmates na spokening dollars.", ayan simula na ng kanyang "talumpati" si Tanya.
"Saan mo naman nasagap ang chizmax na yan, Tanya? Ikaw talaga wag kang magbiro ha."
"Ano ba ang pangalan ng registrar natin?"
"Miss Morales---Miss Geraldine Morales.", sagot ni Becky habang nakatunganga kay Kristin na nagmamanicure kay Tanya.
"Hay naku ang slow motion nyo ano? My name is Antonia Maria Morales Abraham. Titang-tita ko siya." Mukhang naiinip na siya dahil di nakukuha ng 3 niyang alipores.
"Hay talaga?", sambit naman ni Janice na nasa tabi ko sa boses na ala-Tanya.
Si Janice yung mataray ang dating. Matapang at walang pakialam. Wag mo lang siyang pakitaan ng pagka-antipatika at okay kayo. Minsan natatawa lang ako sa kanyang banat. At ang minsan na yan ay ngayon kaya....bigla ba naman akong nadamay.
Biglang tumayo itong Tanya at pinagalitan si Janice. "Ikaw, weirdo ka, wag kang sagot nang sagot pag di ka kinakausap ha. Kung hindi ay..."
Tumayo din ito na parang nanghahamon---"At ano? Papatalsikin mo ako dini sa Manuel Roxas---hoy, public school ito ano? At bukas sa lahat na mga weirdong teenagers katulad ko at mas lalong katulad mo.Babaeng bakla!!!"
"Aba, aba, aba...ugaling palengkera yata ang kausap ko..."
Bigla na lang akong tumayo at naging "referee".
"Prrttt!!!! Teka ha, madadaan ito sa magandang usapan," ako ay pumagitna sa kanila at nakita ko na ring tumayo ang 3 alipores ni Tanya.
"Pwes! sabihin mo dyan sa kaibigan mo, tigilan na ako...at wag kang maging hero diyan, Lisa dahil nakita kitang tumawa din. Pareho lang kayo!!!"
Yan na ang sabi ko. Di ko naman talaga close friend si Janice. Nagkataon lang kaming nagkatabi sa bench.
"Alam mo, Lisa--halika na", hinatak ako paalis ni Janice at may binulong sa akin habang papunta kami sa kabilang shed, "yang mga yan nai-estress pag inaway ko. Pati si Dante mamaya, hindi makakadiga kasi wala sa mood si Tanya."
"Hayaan mo na lang sila, Janice."
"Alam mo, Lisa pag di mo kalabanin ang mga yan, ikaw ang kawawa. Don't be a doormat. Minsan inaartehan ko lang ang mga yan. Dinadala sa sarcasm pero kinakagat naman nila. Akala nila nalalamangan nila ako. Pwes hindi, I am just a good actress."
"Ang galing mo nga."
" Lisa---you're too nice a person. You should know to hate sometimes. Kahit konti on the right reasons."
"Ayokong maghate ng tao. Gusto ko lang gumawa ng mga bagay para sa sarili ko at sa pamilya ko."
"Ganon din yun. Pag inuna mo yung sarili mo, aayaw na yan sa yo. Pumili ka lang---magtago ka sa lungga mo o F--- you all!!!"
"Gusto ko nasa gitna lang ako---- mapagkaibigan pero may paninindigan sa sarili."
Bigla na lang akong natahimik---beep! beep!-- may nagtext.
Janet: Baj m d2 n sa cafe.Buti aq tanggp, d c boss.Paktay k kung xa.
"Are you out of your mind, Brandon?" My stepmom just blurted out of the blue. I know I am just talking to my dad all along and she wants to join the conversation. She was knitting my unborn sibling's shoe and I could see the needles that she's holding moved up and down as if she wants to prick me by the eyes using them.
"Brandon, you must think it over, son. You can not just decide in a haste."
"Dad, I made up my mind."
"Peter, you cannot just make your son move school. Blue Ridge is the best school in the country. "
I could see my dad's face getting irritated. It seemed like he's going to explode, but I saw him breathed deeply.
"Brandon, you're graduating and I am so concern about the standards...."
"But dad, I want a total new environment....I want you to trust me on this."
"Peter..." my stepmom sighed with dismay.
"Graciana, we'll talk about this okay", he gave her a pat on her shoulder. I would say if she keeps quiet for a while and accept this, she will have my whole respect for a lifetime.
"Peter, I am telling it's not a good idea."
Dad turned to me, "Brandon, this I am telling you. I will grant my permission but we need to have an agreement."
"You got my word, dad."
"You must show me the better version of Brandon. The Brandon I used to know--smart and active."
Now we are talking business here. I know there is a bargain and for once between dad and me, I have a feeling that I could win that bargain.
"Thanks, Dad. I have an idea where to go...it's just the public school across Blue Ridge."
I saw my stepmom's jaw dropped open and was about to protest.
"I saw and read some streamers outside that shows that it is in the nation's top 20 public high schools. It has a good athletic team and swimming team."
Finally, I saw my dad's face lit up. It's probably the first time he saw me insisting something good for myself. It's the first time I spoke what I want and what I really desire. Part of the truth is I want to get away from Krizzia and also part of it is to break free. I have lived in the US for 15 years--- of freedom and to make good choices for myself. Then, I was thrown to this place where I seemed to be guarded all the time and to be "harrassed" by stepmom of her shrieking voice everyday. Good thing it has been mellowed when she knew she was pregnant.
"Brandon, don't fail my trust on you. I just want you to be good to yourself and don't make me go to school and speak with your principal twice a week because you were in trouble...or I have to receive your failing grade."
Honestly, even though how uncertain and distrustful my words are--- when I heard my dad's words encouraging and kind of "warning" me at the same time-- I feel that I somehow about to grow up.
Yes, I am about to break free from Blue Ridge School which undoubtedly one of the best private school in the Philippines, but just want to get out in the company of some cliques that I used to know. A name of a school just snapped in my mind--- Manuel Roxas High School--the school just across the street. Well, it's just because of the reason it's the second high school that I know of.
Whatever my fate is--- I gotta have (I can't believe I am saying this)...FAITH. There is it, I said it.
Lisa, Lisa...parang nanood ka lang ng isang hollywood movie. Mmmm...para bang na-transport ako sa America na walang Visa. Pero ay..ganoon pala sila ka-intense..feel na feel. Di ko sila makuha sa isip ko habang papauwi ng gabing yun. Ang babae sosyal, ang lalaki kalahati-native, kalahati-alien.
Hanggang kinabukasan pagbalik ko sa internet cafe, patingin -tingin ako sa gate ng Blue Ridge School. In fairness, yung lalaki parang si Jonathan Jackson. Hayyy,,,
"Lisa?...", kanina pa pala si Janet sa harapan ko-- ang madaldal kong katrabaho. "Aba-aba-aba wag mong sabihin na nagdi-daydream ka na. Uy..sino ang swerteng lalaki na nagpatibok ng puso ng babaing siga."
"Ayee...wala. Iniisip ko lang yung utang ko at saka....meron ako ngayon. Kabuwanan ko kaya tuliro ako." Defensive tuloy ako.
"Oo nga tuliro ka nga..mamaya pag nakita ka ni bossing na di mo suot ang badge mo, malilintikan ka."
Bigla kong hinagip yong dibdib ko para i-check kung suot ko ang badge ko.
"Patay..baka may multa ako nito."
"Ipagdasal mo na lang na di si Sir Marco ang pupunta ngayon kundi si Ma'am Edna. Kahit masungit yun pero walang pakialam kung may badge ka o wala."
"Kailangan ko ng 15 minutes break muna. Hahanapin ko sa locker ko. May utang ka na time sa akin, remember nang nakipaglandian ka sa papa mo."
"O sige bilisan mo at baka may oorder na ng kape."
Tumakbo ako sa locker at nilabas lahat ng laman ng bag ko. Wala talaga..walang badge.
******************************************************************
My stepmom drives me crazy. It's hard to get a ride in our family car whenever she's around. She plays dispatcher all the time and she has to know where I am going. I lied---told her that I will go to Charlie's but I have our driver detour us to the internet cafe where the girl last night was working.
"Ricky, I just want to grabe some milkshake. Can you turn right where my school is? Right in that cafe?"
"Are you sure po, Sir? There's a Starbucks in the mall?"
"I am so sure. I know they have good milk shakes in here. I'll see later".
When I walked in, I am the first customer. There is a lady in the counter but I am sure it wasn't her.
"Good morning, Sir, how can I help you?"
I scanned through their menu on the wall and nothing would come to my mind. I was just here to return a badge but not really to order.
"What would you recommend?" I jingled the keys and the badge in my pocket.
"Well, we have mocca mint shake, choco mint shake, nutty choco mint shake....they are our customer's favorite."
"How about your choco mint shake --regular size."
"Right away in 5 minutes, Sir."
As I watched her razzled dazzled around pouring, mixing, shaking the drink-- I looked around for some clue of the girl. When she was done, I paid her and took my order.
"Is there anything else you want, sir?"
"Mmm.... are you the only one working in here?"
I saw her face turned point blank..
"Up front..yes but there's a lot of people inside....", she pointed to the room. "There are like 5 big muscled people in there....like bouncer." She seemed frightened, so I just bade goodbye and left the cafe.
************************************************************************
Lumabas ako na matamlay dahil di ko nakita ang badge ko. Nawala na talaga yun. Pero si Janet parang....
"Lisa, Lisa..hay naku buti na lang lumabas ka. Di mo naabutan. Nagkukunyari pang sosyal at akala mo alta-sosyodad, yun pala may planong mang-hold up."
"Ha!!!!"
"Oo..pero infairness -- milyun-milyon ang pogi points niya. Hayyy....natakot yata nang sinabi ko na may limang bouncer diyan sa loob. Di niya alam ikaw lang pala ang andyan."
"Okay ka rin pala ano? Ginawa mo akong panakot. E papano kung lumabas talaga ako at malaman niya na nagsisinungaling ka lang? Naku, Janet....nakakatakot naman niyan."
****************************************************************
I get in the car and told Ricky to bring me to the mall.
"Sir Brandon, your black berry has been ringing and ringing when you're out. "
I grabbed my phone at the back seat and Krizzia has rang the phone more than 10 times.
"Shittt!!!", I whispered to myself. If there's one thing that I don't like, it's someone who didn't get it at all.
"O Ricky, do you want a new cellphone?"
"Ay Sir..no money..I am just using this old nokia 3210..old model....just for my pamili po, sir."
"How about a brand new black berry model?"
"No joke sir?"
I handed over him the phone.
"Sir, how about you?"
"I will buy an iphone when I get to the mall."
"How about the sim card and your friends list here?"
"Can you do me a favor, Ricky?"
"Anything sir."
"Can you throw the sim card away? As in gone from my sight."
"Okay, sir..kung yan ang gusto nyo.."
"What did you say?"
"Ip dats what you want sir..i will."
"Thank you, Ricky."
Now, I will be Krizzia-free ---for now.
"What the hell is happening to you, Brandon? You can't just leave me in there. I am your date! You could have told me you're leaving and not just leave me with Cristopher to take care of me. I am not just a random date you took because we need to have a date--I am your girlfriend!!!"
"Krizzia, leave me alone. I am going home. Stop nagging me about things I didn't even do. And what was that all about? You've been telling everyone that we had some wild nights in the jacuzzi. What will your parents say about me? Hell, Krizzia, even though I grew up in America but I do know your culture in here."
"I..I am so sorry Brandon..please give me another chance. I just don't want any other girls to get you. You're every girl's dream in campus to be their boyfriend and I don't want you to be their friend.....we belong to each other."
"Not a chance now, Krizzia, because we're through!! As in end...finito...no more chance."
Upon hearing my words, Krizzia ran back inside crying. I felt there's something in my hand that I wanted to give a blow on the post near the post. I wasn't able to control myself and I punch the wall of the telephone booth. It left a little dent. Suddenly, I heard a frightened sigh in one of the benches in the lobby. I looked at her and kind of not seeing much of her face because it was a little bit dark.
"I'm sorry po. Natakot kasi ako pero okay lang. Di ko kayo kilala, di nyo rin ako kilala, parang wala lang po akong nakita o narinig. Di ko po kayo nakitang sumuntok diyan sa telephone booth at nasira.At isa pa english yun di ba? Di ako nakakaintindi ng malalim na english. Sige po goodnight."
I might have frightened her that she ran away. She dropped her larnyard with her work badge on the ground. She works at Cyber Hide Out internet cafe. It was too late, I can't see her anymore in the street.
As for Krizzia, maybe I wasn't sure of her at all. It was just the thing of having a girlfriend and having an idea of what every young guy has--a girlfriend. But what really is the sense of having a special girl in your life? My mind and my heart don't reject the idea--it's just that it was so early for me to decide that Krizzia should be my girlfriend because I want to today, but I just don't have that "thing" you feel for a girlfriend. With me and Krizzia, it was just imposed because everyone supposed to have one, but because you like and you love that person. I maybe the worst person in the world at this time, but yes, Brandon is the meanest person of the hour tonight.
In short, I realized tonight that I don't love Krizzia at all.
Ako si Lisa-- simple, karinyosa at bungisngis. Sanay na ako sa payak na pamumuhay. Si Nanay nagtitinda ng kakanin sa tapat ng paaralan namin tuwing recess at sa hapon naman, nag-a- alsa balutan siya sa kabilang kanto doon naman sa paaralan ng mga mayayaman. Parang Mara-Clara ang drama ano? Pero buti na lang walang Clara sa buhay namin at ang Tatay talagang pinakamabait na ama sa lahat. Ang masaklap nga lang napagbintangan siyang pumatay sa boss niya kaya ayun nasa bilangguan ng dalawampung taon. Labinlimang taon na lang at lalaya na siya. Ay!!! Tagal pa pala non. Kaya ang nanay, ina na , ama pa sa buhay naming 3 magkakapatid. Panganay ako sa tatlo. Ang sunod sa akin ay si Lester at ang bunso ay si Daniel. Ayaw sana ng nanay na magtrabaho ako pero pinilit ko siya para makatulong at makaipon din ako. Magka-college na kasi ako sa susunod na pasukan. Kaya naman namasukan akong Internet Cafe assistant tuwing Biernes, Sabado at Linggo malapit sa Blue Ridge School. Ito yong sinasabi kong school ng mayayaman.
Simple lang kaligayahan namin. Pagkatapos kumain ng hapunan at gumawa ng homework, manonood ng paboritong teleserye sa bintana ng bahay ni Aling Choleng, matutulog na para pumasok kinabukasan. Umiiba lang yata ang daloy ng buhay pag may birthday kasi alam ko ang nanay magluluto yan ng pansit o spaghetti at minsan punta kami ng park para magpahangin. Tuwing Pasko naman, bumibisita kami sa tatay.
Kaya ako, kahit na ano kasalat kami sa lahat ng luho, naging maganda ang pananaw namin sa buhay. Tawag ng mga kaklase ko sa akin nga bungisngis at tigasin kasi di ako patatalo sa mga mayayaman at maaarte. Ang mga lalaki sa school, di umaalma sa akin kasi sinisindak ko sila. Kaya ngayon wala masyadong nagkakamaling manligaw kasi tingin ko sa kanila lahat--utol! Ekanga ako, one of the boys lang.
"Lisa, andon ka ba sa internet cafe mamaya?", tanong ni Rod habang hinahabol ako. Palabas na kasi ako ng school.
"Didiretso ako ngayon don at hanggang alas nuebe ako.Bukas at Linggo, 9-5 ako. Bakit?"
"E kasi", may dinudukot siya sa bulsa niya at kinuha ang flash drive, "ito o-- project ng grupo natin. Kung may time kang i-print. 35 pages yan, puede ba?"
"Puedeng-puede kaya lang, nagtatrabaho lang ako don. Hindi ko pag-aari ang printer at saka yong tinta ng printer. Kailangan nyo pa ring bayaran yong print services. Tingnan ko kung pueding magdiscount."
May dinukot siya uli sa kabilang bulsa, "Ito o, kasya na ba ang singkwenta. Yan lang ang kaya ng grupo. Baka gusto mo na rin i-proofread nang konti kaya di ka na namin singilin ng contribution mo."
"Okay", kinuha ko ang flash drive at ang pera.
"Sige salamat, Lisa."
Yan si Rod-- kababata ko since Grade 1. Mabait naman siya at naging kalaro ko noong maliliit pa kami pero parang nalason din yata ng mama niya ang utak niya sa pagiging matapobre. Ang nakakatawa lang ay mayaman ang kanyang madrasto pero sa public school pa rin siya nag-aaral. Pero ayun naman sa sabi niya, tatapusin na lang niya ang high school at saka na mag-college sa magandang kolehiyo. Ganyan naman kaming lahat sa school, halos magkakakilala mula noong bata pa kaya minsan nakakasuka rin ang pagmumukha namin sa isa't isa. Hahaha
Minsan, naiisip ko, kelan kaya magkaroon ng konting "twist" ang buhay ko? Yong maganda. Ang huli yatang twist ay yong bumaha sa lugar namin at kailangan naming tumira sa school at syempre walang pasok ng isang linggo. Ayoko ng ganoong "twist". Kaya ako'y nangarap na lang sa bituin sa langit--- sana naman......sekret yun kaya di niyo mababasa dito. (wink wink)
Habang papauwi ako nang gabi noon galing sa trabaho, nakita ko yong kumukuti-kutitap na mga ilaw sa Blue Ridge School. Prom Night pala nila. Maki-usyuso nga. Minsan, napag-isip isip ko rin kung paano kaya kung iba yong buhay ko at sila yong mga kaklase ko. Para akong timang na umupo doon sa may lobby nila at bigla na lang nakasaksi ng isang drama......
People who knew me knows I am perfect.
My clothes, my family and the way I look. But then, deep within me I know it's a big fat lie. It's all superficial. If they all feel what I feel and see how empty my world is and how can one comes in and out inside it because there's a void in it--- I absolutely know that they will change their perspective about me. It will destroy my picture perfect image.
I look at my reflection in the mirror--it's blurry. I can't see the real me. What I see is a good looking guy which is according to my girlfriend Krizzia. But I do not feel my face as if it is my feelings. It's just a genetic combination of my parents' genes. I am a mixture of east and west--- got my mom's color of skin and hair, but my dad's facial feature.
"Brandon! Come down!!!", my stepmom was yelling downstairs. Oh yes, I have a stepmom. My real mom died 5 years ago and my dad married this gold digging woman. She is also a filipina like my mom, but so far no one could replace my mom's gentle and loving ways. Incase you didn't know, my mom died of breast cancer. My parents had me in their late 30's that's why even though I am seventeen, they are already older than most who married younger.
"Brandon!!!!!", it's louder this time.
The first time she called, my first instinct was to ignore her. "WTF", I thought for the second yell. I am called Mr. Ignore Her---for if I start to retaliate, it will be more arguments, heartaches, and more and more yelling.
I come down from the stairs and she is at the bottom of the staircase with that "you're late" look.
"I know, I know. I will just eat my breakfast on the way to school."
"You came home past midnight. That's what you get---eye bags and pimples". She scanned through my face as if she's a ultra sound machine. " Your dad left early for Iloilo for a business conference and there's only me, you, the housemaid and your forthcoming brother slash sister."
She's pregnant! I didn't scream for joy but shrugged my shoulder. "Okay." I didn't know she could have babies but I do hope they could be like Dad---like a 100% all-Jefferson Raucher genes. Or else we will have 2 screaming creatures in the house. I just don't know how my dad could stand her.
"Juliana!!! Yong baon ng senyorito mo, bilis!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", I could already see her tonsils on that one.
"Tita Elizabeth, isn't it bad for the babies if you scream like that? According to studies, you need to be gentler and happier while you're pregnant. It will affect the baby's disposition."
"Oh really. Okay", she touches her belly, "I am sorry baby. Mom will not scream again.
That took care of it--- well at least for like few months. (wink, wink)
